The waitress diaries, VOL.1

I realise that this blog is not only my place to release negative emotions at myself but also other people, mostly people i see at work, customers and staff that really make my blood boil. So like the nanny diaries, I'm starting to form this into one that i can relate to.

THE WAITRESS DIARIES.

As some of you may know, I work as a waitress at my parents restaurant, amongst other things i do for them. Waitressing is the single most horrible job in the universe. Yes it's rewarding but 90% of the time, you want to strangle the customers, or your colleagues. mainly customers, which brings me to my next point, volume 1 focuses on CUSTOMERS, the bane of our existance and simultaneously, also the pain in our arse.

Depending on what restaurant you open, you get different types of customers. simple, yes? I work part time at the sushi bar occasionally, and yes, we are chinese people that opened a japanese sushi bar. Shoot me. No, we don't give a fuck that we're chinese and we're serving japanese food, because like any person, we're trying to make a living and at the time japanese was popular, it still is, just not in our town, we soon found out. Here, we also find customers that are STUPIDLY naiive about business. for example, they'll come in and ask whether we, the waitresses that SERVE food are chinese or japanese. we say the truth-chinese, these cunts customers immediately judge and turn away from the sushi bar. WHAT THE EFF. what the fricking eff is wrong with you, FYI you nasty little judgemental fucking bitches, your favourite sushi chains such as yo sushi, was even founded by a british WHITE dude. Wasabi, another chain is run by korean and wagamama was founded by a chinese dude. FACT.

Like them, we don't give a fuck, we just want $$$$$$. sounds selfish, but thats the way the world turns. you are seriously deluded if you think people open restaurants for the nice feeling... Restaurants are their lifesource, of course they're gona be fucking selfish. it's business.

I also have customers that think that they can treat us anyway they want, and they treat the staff really badly because they're not british. we employ from china mainly in the chinese restaurants and they're not great at english, but all they're trying to do is trying to understand what you want. No need to be rude. If you think the service is bad because of that, its because YOU treated us badly first. Big tip; be nice to the waiting staff, they're some seriously stressed bitchy people and they get nasty. [BEWAAARREEE]

DRIVING. gaaah

I booked another driving lesson with another instructor tomorrow. I think I'm more scared than when i first started. I am SO FRICKIN' scared of driving. When i think about it, my heart beats really quickly and i hyperventilate. I am a bad driver, and i have proof of that, in the form of my last epicly failed driving test. I know I'm a bad driver and i keep thinking other people are going to laugh at me, I'm going to be the butt of people's jokes again. I always am.

I cant drive, I hat to drive and i'm still so freaking scared.

Home Sweet Home

I'm home, Uni's finally finished! I love being home, I'm elated to see my family again, but sometimes, they really grate on me. I know, it's been less than a day since i got back home and i gotta stay for a few months at least.

Seriously, Dad, the first words you say to me 'is how was your exam, i bet you failed because you went clubbing too much-thats the reason why you didn't come home?' WHAT THE EFF. I was only gone for 4 weeks, and the only place i went was town to see off international friends for lunch and one night at the summer ball. If you missed seeing me, in those 4 weeks, just say so, Don't be so damn spiteful. Saying i'll drop out because i didn't study because i went out is wrong. I have my own study plans, I'm freaking 19, I know you're paying for my studies, but I'm not as bad as you think.

Thats the thing, Everyone back home always ALWAYS think I'm worse than I am, and when i start believing that, I fall, crack, collapse in the worst way possible. It was the same with A levels, driving. One girl passed judgement on me before knowing anything, and in driving, everyone would joke how bad i was when they never saw me drive. I know, sticks and stones, but I'll admit, I'm not strong enough to deal with your judgements, I'm easily swayed by words, thats why i love reading. In reality, it's the worst trait possible.

The consequence, I seem to play down who i am now. I can't pinpoint any of my strong features. I've lost that girlish confidence inside. I get anxious when someone points out a flaw [e.g: personality, weight gain etc] I'm scared of my flaws.

Sociopaths

So, mid-exam period. Nothing to do, because my next exam isn't until a week or so and being alone with only the 4 walls around me for company, I began to think. I thought alot in the past week or so, mainly my downfalls and thoughts and confusions that have plagued me ever since sixth form. Since i was 16. Most notably; Miss N.

Miss N was a girl who i used to be good friends with prior to being 16. She was in my classes at school and she was charming, smart, A grades, beautiful. She seemed genuinely like a nice girl. Oh how wrong I was. I was never great at seeing through people's facades. A flaw about myself which gets me hurt every friggin' time. When we were in GCSE, we virtually had the same subjects and in the summer of 2006, I introduced her to my then-boyfriend. Betch suddenly turns on me. very sublety. She basically flirted with him and boys minds wander. I expected it to. but she made sure i knew about it. At that point, I was 16, boys were just boys, relationship wasn't deep so, we broke up and i thought that now that she got what she wanted, she would stop making me feel bad. It didn't

In the next few months, she continued to annoy me, like saying how her other friends thought i wasn't hard working and they didn't know me. Why the fuck would you tell that to your friend if you know it will make them feel bad? everytime i talked to someone, she would butt in and take over the conversation, she would make friends with my friends. At one point, I would listen to a lot of indie, japanese and chinese music and she would too. She was trying to take over my identity, well cover it up. I wasn't pleased, didn't say a word. I got really bad grades that year, I guess i was depressed, but i didn't know it. I would eat to feel better. On results day, she saw i was crying over my results and bounded up to me full of life-'Oh yinnie, what did you get, I got all A's'

I finally realised, despite being less attractive, less brainy, less popular than her, I was still her target because when i didn't care, it seemed like i LET her win. She wanted to win fair and square. No one suspected that she was victimising me because she was so nice. It was so well deceptive. It was a totally horrible feeling.

Recently, i read up on psychological bullying because it really bothered me. Her traits match up 95% to being a sociopath. She has not real feelings, she victimises to win and thats her personality. I was kind of shocked because i didn't think such complex people existed. I had been a victim of sociopathological bullying and i don't like it one bit. I hate that these types of people are around.