Sunday, 31 May 2009

Been ill

I think this has turned into a blog outlet for my negative feelings, feelings deep down inside of me that i don't want anyone to see, the darker side of my emotions.

I've been ill recently, so everything has taken a back seat atm, i got a finals paper in a few days. I'm not too worried about it. Whilst taking a back seat on my life, i can reflect and reflecting is usually a bad thing for me, i don't have anything really to look forward to, as in long term goal. I'm just chugging away doing nothing, getting nothing. it frustrates me. Again, a certain figure pops up to rub it in.

I wouldn't mind flying away, running away by myself to start a new life. the only thing is, I don't have anything bad to run away from. I have lovely parents, family, a great uni, doing okay at studies. I would have loved this last year. this would have been enough. But atm, for me, its not enough, but i don't know what that thing is.

Thursday, 21 May 2009


I failed my first driving test today. EPIC-LY.
2 dangerous 1 serious and 9 minors. I think that's a world record.
I might sound cheery but i'm so far from it. Seriously, DID I HAVE TO FAIL THAT BADLY. What the fuck is wrong with me. I'm just not born to drive. and the examiner was such a nice guy as well, I felt sorry for him.

Fuck it, I'm done with manual, You've got about 10 million things to keep in your head, plus normal reality to think of, like essay deadlines. I'm driving automatic. Less hassle. GAH. I hate myself for failing, so epic-ly aswell.

Wednesday, 13 May 2009

facebook: for making us feel unsuccessful.

I realise i should probably keep in contact with my old group alot more than i should have, BUT I'M SO DAMN LAZY. I know a 'Hi How are you doing?' will suffice, but when i think back to them, they remind me of high school days. Don't get me wrong, I loved my high school days, just I haven't felt the need to reminisce stuff that happened a year ago. I'm not old enough for that. =) Also, I did try, but I did lose my phone way back in january and lost EVERYONE'S NUMBERS. Facebook is cool too, but I'm lazy to click a few buttons as well. Nothing personal against them, and I feel guilty, and if i do it now, its cuz i feel guilty, I want to be able to greet them like i mean it, not because it's right to do so.

On the subject of facebook, That news feed you get is the most nosiest thing ever. You get to see what your friends are up to, and also how people from your high school that you never liked are doing. I have a whole load of those. Especially one, I don't hate her, but her personality really doesn't appeal to me. It's partially because she broke our trust at close friends with her jealousy. She didn't have to be jealous, she was still better than me at everything, which to this day, I still don't get. I guess the girl has got some serious psychological problem. Well Miss N [let's leave it at that.] is happily doing well, has a ticket to oxford university, is gona be a doctor and is gona travel South east asia spreading her goddamn smiles around. She's gona do the world of good, because ever since her genius popped up at 5 years old, thats what she's meant to do. and she's gona get more beautiful than she already is and have an intelligent degree under her belt and i wouldn't be surprised is she did become a superstar with a herd of men behind her every step. And yes, who wouldn't be jealous? I know i am because I'm just the average jo-..sephine. The one that will graduate with a 2nd and go on to do an average job in a company, starting from the bottom and will find it incredibly hard to find a nice guy. I don't mind a normal life, but thank you facebook for rubbing in my face that i will never be as successful in life.

Monday, 11 May 2009

A letter to my 16 year old self

I was relistening to The all american rejects earlier on, and a flood of memories of my 16- year old self came back to me. At the time, I loved Pop-rock and all that shiz and was seriously backward about the world. I look back now, and if i had the chance, I would say so much to that young 16-year old girl back then. So here's my letter to the 16-year old Wai Yin Chung.

Dear, 16 year old me,

Hi, I'm writing 3 years on from you right now. You're so carefree and so confident in yourself, and my first advice to you is that, don't lose that inner confidence, don't let a certain guy rock your confidence about who you are. Don't let people you don't know rock your confidence. I know it hurts, but you're so much better than that. Even if you don't do as well, it's not the end of the world. There are so many options. DO NOT TRY TO BE A DOCTOR. You weren't cut out for science, honey! Focus on your strengths, the humanities!

secondly, you know that guy you're dating? It won't last long, and you'll get bored easily, You're that kind of person and its okay to be like that. Furthermore, a 16 year old is not suppose to handle, school, work and a relationship. thats too much for one girl. You can dump him, just say it, don't keep living in blind hope! It won't happen. I can say this, you're a strong person, You'll hide your emotions for the first few weeks until you forget about it, don't dwell on it. He's not worth it. Don't hide from him afterwards either, He's a nice guy regardless.

Lastly, I'd like to say that, Life is what you make it, not your parents. Live a little, Don't hide in your shell. Life is for living.

I'll write again soon. x