Been ill

I think this has turned into a blog outlet for my negative feelings, feelings deep down inside of me that i don't want anyone to see, the darker side of my emotions.

I've been ill recently, so everything has taken a back seat atm, i got a finals paper in a few days. I'm not too worried about it. Whilst taking a back seat on my life, i can reflect and reflecting is usually a bad thing for me, i don't have anything really to look forward to, as in long term goal. I'm just chugging away doing nothing, getting nothing. it frustrates me. Again, a certain figure pops up to rub it in.

I wouldn't mind flying away, running away by myself to start a new life. the only thing is, I don't have anything bad to run away from. I have lovely parents, family, a great uni, doing okay at studies. I would have loved this last year. this would have been enough. But atm, for me, its not enough, but i don't know what that thing is.