I'm home, Uni's finally finished! I love being home, I'm elated to see my family again, but sometimes, they really grate on me. I know, it's been less than a day since i got back home and i gotta stay for a few months at least.
Seriously, Dad, the first words you say to me 'is how was your exam, i bet you failed because you went clubbing too much-thats the reason why you didn't come home?' WHAT THE EFF. I was only gone for 4 weeks, and the only place i went was town to see off international friends for lunch and one night at the summer ball. If you missed seeing me, in those 4 weeks, just say so, Don't be so damn spiteful. Saying i'll drop out because i didn't study because i went out is wrong. I have my own study plans, I'm freaking 19, I know you're paying for my studies, but I'm not as bad as you think.
Thats the thing, Everyone back home always ALWAYS think I'm worse than I am, and when i start believing that, I fall, crack, collapse in the worst way possible. It was the same with A levels, driving. One girl passed judgement on me before knowing anything, and in driving, everyone would joke how bad i was when they never saw me drive. I know, sticks and stones, but I'll admit, I'm not strong enough to deal with your judgements, I'm easily swayed by words, thats why i love reading. In reality, it's the worst trait possible.
The consequence, I seem to play down who i am now. I can't pinpoint any of my strong features. I've lost that girlish confidence inside. I get anxious when someone points out a flaw [e.g: personality, weight gain etc] I'm scared of my flaws.